just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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