He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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