areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
You ate ashes out of my bong
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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