Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
