Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize