Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
