Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
