If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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