I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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