I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize