It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
