The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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