I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
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