I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize