Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
