Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
