You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
