just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
How's work?
Spinning.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize