mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize