I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
