I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
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