Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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