We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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