I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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