just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
