Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
