There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
