Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize
