at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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