I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
