Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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