Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
