Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Randomize
