so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I checked into jail on foursquare
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
