It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
