I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
found the other keg... it's in the tree
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
