yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize