He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
