i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Randomize
