I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
