i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
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