He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
