I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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