I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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