My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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