butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
