I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Randomize
