so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
And then he peed in my hair
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