I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
