I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
