I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I did not marry a roomba.
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