she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I had to cum in my sink.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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