I'm pants shitting drunk right now
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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