Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
