Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
