so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
