It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
We need to get me chipped asap
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
