I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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