Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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