it was like his penis was on wheels.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
