Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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