Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
