So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
