Pregnant stripper...not hot.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Can I color on your dick again?
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
