"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
