So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
