don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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