I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
