he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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