I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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